I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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