would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I need a beard to bite.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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