YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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