Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
