I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
