What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
