Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
