My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
