walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
