wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
