i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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