we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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