he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
