So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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