Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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