Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize