i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
