I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
