Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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