I feel like abortions should bother me more
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
