Plan B is the new Plan A
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
