your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize