when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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