Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
