I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
