where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
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