There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
