dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
