Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry hahahawtf hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad

Fav 8 1199 1136
share tweet
(949): View more from California

mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.

Fav 38 855 4511
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(281): View more from Texas

He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.

Fav 5 3773 1300
share tweet
(815): View more from Illinois

just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.

Fav 7 3606 1359
share tweet
(778): View more from British Columbia

you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that

Fav 6 1261 3154
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner

Fav 7 2248 1592
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.

Fav 5 2288 1048
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night

Fav 2 342 225
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(931): View more from Tennessee

Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?

Fav 0 23 32
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT