youre lurking in front of me
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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