My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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