You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Randomize
