Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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