Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
