i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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