I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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