Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
