great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
