I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
