I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
