you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
