Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
