I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
