I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
