Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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