Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
