No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
