so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
