I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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