I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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