I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
