So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
