I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
