Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
