About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
