a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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