I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
