After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
