You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
