But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
