It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
