Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
