Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
