Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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