Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
