Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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