hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
they call him Oral-B. enough said
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
