I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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