oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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